Love Me Forever, Sirius
by MissUrbanWriter
Summary: Is love so hard to return? One-shot. SLASH SB/RL


I've always wondered how'd it feel to kiss him. With his shaggy brown hair flopping around on his face and his lips—oh god, I could DIE just by looking at them!—his oh so luscious lips just beckoning out at me, seeming to say, 'Kiss my, Siri, kiss me!' But I can't. You know why? Because I'm a guy.

Yup, you've guessed it. I'm Sirius Black, the top, handsome guy and, best of all, a Marauder. And guys aren't supposed to be gay. Well, I knew James was cheating with Jordan McKinnon behind Lily Evan's back. That was one thing…but ME?? Why me?? Oh, Fate must hate me so bad…!

"Siri? Honey? Darling, are you in there?" A sickly pink manicured hand reaches out and grabs my shoulder, jolting me out of my fantasies abruptly.

"What?" I snap at Christiana Goldman, my ever present girlfriend. "I was—"

"Dreaming about me?" said Christiana smugly.

I shake my head, fuming. Seriously, this girl is so naïve sometimes! But I'm Sirius Black. And Rule 1 is: Keep your cool and don't explode. So I keep my face neutral and my voice even when I reply, "No, Christiana. I never dream about you, nor would I ever would in the future."

Christiana looks hurt and falls silent, her baby blue eyes staring glumly at the crystal clear lake. I smirk inwardly; it's not often Christina's mouth stops talking. Sometimes she can talk for hours on end, chewing over a small detail in her dress. Once, she got me oohing and aahing at a floppy pink bow in her brown tresses. It would've looked nice to me if Christina had shut up about it.

The sun starts sinking below the horizon. The clouds turn a beautiful alluring pink. Of course it reminded me of how _his _lips looked when he was smiling.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" said Christiana softly, speaking up for the first time since I snapped at her. Her arms twitch as if she wanted to put sling them around my waist. Disgust boiled in the pit of my stomach.

I cock my head and don't reply. Soon, after the sun was gone taking with it the beautiful scene, Christiana got up and returned to the castle her head bowed.

I feel a little ashamed. Maybe I shouldn't have snapped at her. She was still a girl and all girls do that. I had my previous girlfriends do the same thing and I had never taken my anger out at them.

I stood up and followed Christiana, hunger stirring in my stomach. The Great Hall with its delicious aromas was beckoning!

&

"Hey, Padfoot!" said James, thumping me on the back as I sat down beside him, carefully avoiding Remus's eye as I went. "Out with Christy?"

"Yup," said I heartily, taking a chicken leg and tearing off a chunk of it. "My first and maybe my last."

James frowned. Peter said, "So my count currently is…" He began ticking off on his fingers. "Christiana Goldman is the twentieth ex-girlfriend."

"You counted?" I asked, surprised.

"Of course he did," said Remus, nose buried in a book. "Ever since the beginning of this year. Last year you dumped fifty girls all of whom were quite pretty."

I feel myself blush, but not at the 'I dumped fifty girls' but because of Remus. I hastily busied myself with eating my chicken leg and ignoring the disgusted groans issuing from girls sitting rather close to me.

James threw an amused glance my way and then resumed his eating. Peter, after glancing between Remus and me for a moment, went back to chomping on his large ham.

When the feast was over and Dumbledore had dismissed us all, I and the other three walked the usual way to the Gryffindor dormitory, taking several shortcuts to escape the girls' giggles and looks my way. James, too.

"What's the password again?" I asked, facing the Fat Lady. She raised her eyebrows at me and resumed the smoothing of her dress.

"It's 'Wobblebird'," answered James and the portrait swung open, almost catching me in the head as it went.

We somewhat awkwardly clambered through the hole and the portrait swung shut behind us.

"I'm out," said Peter at once, stretching his arms and yawning. Remus agreed with him and together they proceeded up the staircase, leading to the boys' dorms.

"So…Exploding Snap?" I offered to James but to my disappointment he rejected.

"We need to talk," was all he said and swung himself onto an armchair, looking ridiculously ridiculous with his arms swung over the side and his legs flopping on the ground.

I felt nervous and sat in an overstuffed chair, sitting at the very edge as to avoid sinking. "Well?" I asked when he remained silent.

He looked at me weirdly for a moment then straightened up in a more dignified position. "It's about you and Moony," he said, his hands twined together on his knees.

I felt my jaw drop. "How-how did you find out?" I stammered. "I haven't told anybody."

James raised his eyebrows. "So that settles it then," he said, decidedly, leaning back. "You like him, don't you, Sirius?"

I didn't answer at once: My mind was still teeming with questions. "First of all," I said, skipping James's question for the moment, "How did you find out?"

James shrugged. "It's obvious," he said simply. "You would blush when _he_ talks and sometimes you would flinch when he touches you. Peter is suspecting."

I felt my insides clench. I was that obvious? "Does everybody else know?"

"No." James's face took on an amused look. "But I don't know for sure."

My cheeks seemed to be on fire.

"But to the main point." James was serious now. "Do you love him?"

My jaw opened and closed several times, I struggling for an answer but then after a very pregnant pause, I said, "Yes."

"And does he love you?"

My eyes dropped. "I don't know."

"Then that finishes it," said James. "You'll have to talk with him."

"WHAT?" I asked then lowered my voice. "_Are you crazy? _He'd probably smack me all the way to England!"

"Then you can trick him," James said easily.

"How?"

"I don't know. You're the one who flirts with girls."

I scowled then the scowl dropped. James was right. But how am I supposed to talk with _him_ without sounding too obvious?

&

By the next day I had a plan hammered out. All with the help of James and a little thinking on my part. First, I would pretend that I needed help with my homework (I could do that with ease, Remus always helped me) then afterwards I'd start up a conversation, eventually wiggling the answer out of him! (A little seducing. James had to convince me to do that).

I was nervous and jumpy the morning, avoiding Remus—that is, until James nudged me and said, "It's time." I choked but nodded. If I had thought this was easy then I was SO wrong.

I tried to put it off a minute after minute but after James's insistent push I summoned the courage.

"Um…Remus?" I asked tentatively.

"Yes?" He turned, the brown hair I loved so much flopping into his eyes. He pushed it away. "Yes?" he added when I didn't reply.

"Oh." I averted my eyes away from his luscious curls and focused. "I…uh…need some help with that Essence of Goldfish essay from Slughorn."

Remus gave me a calculating look and I was starting to get really nervous when he replied, "OK. C'mon." So I tagged along behind the boy, wondering if this really was a good idea.

When we had found a table in the library at the very back, Remus set down his bag and sat down. I imitated him.

"Your essay," said Remus curtly. I handed it to him and immediately Remus launched into a lecture of Goldfish Essence. I didn't listen to him; instead I focused on how his hair glowed softly—even in the wavering light from the candles set in holders lining the wall.

We had progressed into the second hour when I was jolted back to reality when Remus said, "Are you listening, Sirius?"

I blushed and nodded. Remus frowned and went back to his lecture. After some time I decided that it was time to talk.

"So…Moony," I said. "Any girls you got your eye on?"

Remus looked up, surprised. His quill slipped and left a dark mark on the parchment he was writing on. "Why do you say that, Sirius?" he asked, taking out his wand and removing the ink spot with a quick flick of his wrist.

"Oh, I dunno…" Unconsciously, my hands started fidgeting with a stray thread sticking out on my robes. "Umm…I guess, well…Just wanted to know," I finished lamely. Needless to say, Remus didn't buy it.

"You just wanted to know?" Remus asked incredulously. "Sirius, the only time you ever asked me about girls was when we were in first year! Tell me what's _really _on your mind." He put down his quill and looked me squarely in the eye.

My mouth opened and closed. What on earth was I going to say? I remember James had a back up plan but with Remus's beautiful chocolate eyes staring at me like that I couldn't quite recall…I had to say something soon, though. Remus's eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up his forehead.

"Well?" the werewolf asked. "I'm waiting." He still held me in the grip of his stare so, of course, my whole mind went blank and I blurted out the words without thinking.

"I love you."

"What? I'm sure I misheard you."

"I said I love you."

"WHAT? Sirius! Of all the dastardly replies you could have said you say 'I LOVE YOU'? What a joke, Padfoot!" Remus's cheeks were flushed bright pink and I could imagine the way the back of his neck would redden. My arms ached for me to put them around his shoulders. All the possible things I could've said to sooth him suddenly evaded me.

"That's it! You can finish that bloody essay alone! If you can't even study without cracking jokes then-"His sentence was cut off as my lips effectively silenced his.

And I was in complete, utter bliss as I kissed the man of my dreams. All the reasons I'd accumulated to not do _this _was wiped free from my mind and my hands roamed his body. A little voice in the back of my head kept on bleating that someone might come, might find me kissing Remus, might tell the whole school…I didn't (couldn't) listen to it as Remus's lips moved in harmony with mine.

After a whole minute, we broke off gasping. A little light-headed, I stood there smiling like an idiot. Then, a second later, I was horrified. Everything came flooding back and I anxiously looked around to make sure no-one had seen us. The library was deserted. James had done his work well.

Remus was still gasping for air and I looked at him, afraid of his reaction. But then he smiled.

"That," he panted, "was the best thing I've ever experienced."

And that was all it took for me to start kissing him again.

_A/N: Hi! Neypuslover here! Though, of course, you already know that. Well, here is the edited and updated version of Love Me Forever, Sirius. Took me an hour to get it done so, please, no flames! If you don't like slash then don't read it. Anyway, for those who like the story and wish for a sequel, R&R!_


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